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David DeAngelo contends most men lack a deep understanding of women, and in this way they are at a loss to attract the ones they desire. As a result, men are forced to accept whomever selects them.

DeAngelo believes that women are not as obsessed with the appearance of prospective mates as males are. Further, he contends that typical male courting gambits such as excessive flattery and gifting are seen by women as manipulative and insecure, and are thus ultimately unattractive. Instead, he contends that "attraction isn't a choice" -- women cannot be bribed into choosing to feel attraction. Rather, DeAngelo asserts that a woman will feel attraction automatically when she perceives a man to have admirable characteristics such as confidence, lightheartedness, humor and independence, qualities he boils down into the shorthand "~censored~ and funny."

Thus, while a typical man might hope to appeal to a desirable woman with obsequiousness and unbridled enthusiasm, carefully hiding any reservations he might have about her, a "~censored~ and funny" one would actually make his reservations abundantly clear from the outset, albeit flirtatiously and with humor.

DeAngelo stresses that his recommendations are limited to advising men on how to present themselves more attractively in dating scenarios, and makes it clear that his advice is not necessarily relevant to ongoing relationships.

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